Sunday, October 31, 2010

Tips To Avoid Meeting Bad Guy On Online Dating

By adopting safety guidelines and enforcing them you can safely meet and date. Excessive time need not be wasted on endless emails and chatting sessions before determining if this person is date worthy. This is contrary to what a lot of dating gurus will tell you. Experienced online daters have found that the longer you wait to meet someone the more at risk you are in thinking they are someone they are not. Time is precious. Don't waste a lot of time talking with a faceless stranger. Sometimes you meet and find that this person isn't whom you thought--maybe in person their voice grates on your nerves. Perhaps they stated in their profile they are of average weight and turn out to be underweight or they are three inches shorter than you are. Perhaps there just isn't any chemistry!

  • Never give out personal information. If they ask where I live I give them a general answer without specifics. I live in a very small town so when I post my profile to the site I always list the nearest large city as my residence.
  • Never meet the date in person before you feel somewhat comfortable. If, after one email he says he wants to meet, tell him you would like to talk a little more first. Then after talking a little more online if you feel comfortable then you can proceed to exchange phone numbers. Give him your cell number only. To make sure your cell number is not search-able go to www.anywho.com. If your phone number is search-able call your cell company to find out how to make it hidden.
  • Assess his conversation for honesty and integrity. Compare his dating profile to what he is telling you. His profile must match his conversation. If there are any red flags, end the conversation without making a date and cut all ties at this point. If during the telephone conversation, you are feeling reasonably secure with no conflicting information and no bad gut feelings, then proceed to accept a date if asked.
  • Meet in a public place. Lunch dates are a great way to meet someone without committing to more than a short time together. It's daylight; therefore well lit and there will be plenty of people around. Coffee dates are another alternative.
  • Give a relative or friend information about your date. Let someone know where you are going and when you will be back.
  • Take your cell phone with you. If you don't have a cell phone then borrow one.
  • Meet your date at the predetermined location. Do not allow him to pick you up at your home, go to his home or meet him anywhere besides the place you are going.
  • Don't drink. Alcohol may make you take unnecessary risks and if the date is not on the up and up he might use this advantage.
  • If after the meal, your date wants you to go somewhere with him in his vehicle tell him "not this time". Do not get in his car to talk. If you decide to go somewhere else after the meal then meet him there. Make sure it is also a public place.
  • Online daters agree unanimously that the number one safety tip for online dating is to trust your gut instinct. If at any time you get a bad feeling it is crucial to end contact immediately!
Until you physically meet each other you cannot possibly determine if you really want to spend more time getting to know this person. Online relationships cannot reveal the total person while
you remain online. You must actually meet the person face to face. Everything plays a part in your attraction and interest in this person including how you physically interact with each other.

After a few good emails or chatting sessions on Instant Messenger you should be able to determine if you feel this person is worthy of your trust in giving them your unsearchable phone number. If after a few conversations you do not feel comfortable enough to meet this person there is a reason. Forget them and move on to someone else. However, if you feel comfortable after a phone conversation or two then follow the safety guidelines and meet!

Learn from those who have been there before you. Don't repeat the same mistakes they and I have made. Make a pact with yourself to follow safety guidelines, use common sense and trust your gut. Doing so will allow you to venture into the online dating sites in a manner that is safe!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Tips On How To Avoid A Common Complaints On Online Dating Sites

Online dating sites are undeniably popular, but they aren't always the scrupulous matchmaking endeavors they appear to be. What you have to remember is that online dating sites are usually a business in the strictest sense, which means the owners are more concerned about getting your money than finding true love. In fact, the longer it takes you to find your soul mate, the more monthly fees they can drag out of you. Following are some of the common complaints and how to avoid them.

1- Minimum Exposure

Many of the largest online dating sites claim that their members have access to thousands (or even millions!) of potential dates when they sign up and pay their monthly or yearly subscription. One of the most common complaints, however, is that the exposure is actually much more limited once you sign up.

Things like geographical location, age, physical features and education level can really narrow the field with online dating sites. Before you fork over that credit card, avoid minimum exposure by running a free search before you sign up. You won't be able to contact anyone, but you'll get an idea for who's available.

2- Poor Matches

The search criteria you use to find your soul mate might not turn up the princes or princesses you've been looking for. Another common complaint of online dating sites is the accuracy of search results when you start browsing profiles. Again, you can avoid this problem by running free searches before you sign up, but cancel your subscription if your search for a "blonde nonsmoker" turns up brunette chimneys.
3- Guarantee? Shmarantee

One of the most common complaints about online dating sites is the supposed guarantee offered before you sign up for a paid subscription. The site will guarantee that you will find a compatible mate within a given period of time, and if you don't, your money will be refunded pronto. The problem is that you didn't read the fine print, where it says that contact with another member constitutes "finding a compatible mate". Even if you find out that he or she is a loser, you don't get your money back because you "made a connection".
If you want to avoid this common complaint, don't sign up for online dating sites where you think you'll need a guarantee to ensure your success. Instead, research the site beforehand to
decide if it has what you're looking for, and if not, move on to something else. Relying on that flimsy guarantee won't get you anywhere.

4- Billing Nightmare

When you sign up for a subscription at an online dating site, prepare to have your credit card charged-sometimes repeatedly. One of the most common complaints is that customers have a hard time stopping their subscriptions once they begin, and some have even been charged multiple times for the same billing period. If you decide that you've had enough of the online dating scene, make sure they know that you want to cancel, and watch your credit card bill closely for future charges.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Tips On How To Develop Online Dating Relationships

There is only one big difference between online and real-world dating relationships. The major difference is that you are not with the person whom you are dating online in the physical world. The rest of the things that come with dating relationships, online or offline, are not any different.
The same basic rules of online dating site are the same as offline dating. You will need to keep that in mind with an online relationship. With any relationship, there are definite basic rules that need to be followed so that neither party will get hurt.

Tips for Online Dating

Tip One: Make Time for Online Dating

As with any relationship, taking and making time for each other is one of the keys needed in order for your online dating relationship to work. When a person is in an online dating relationship, you shouldn't neglect the virtual meetings that have been set up. Neglecting the virtual meetings could be a source of neglect on your online partner. The two parties involved in online dating should treat each other's time and feelings with respect. If either party feels the relationship is becoming not worth the time, it may be time to end the online relationship and move on.

Tip Two: Communication Should be Used Constantly

Communicating with each other in an online dating relationship should feel right with both parties, and it should come natural. Communication is one of the top keys in getting to know each other with online dating relationships. Neither party should be pushy with their communications. This will have a negative impact with your online dating partner.

Tip Three: Respecting Each Other

Each person in the online dating relationship should respect each other's privacy. Privacy is another issue that comes up in offline relationships that have caused severe problems in the relationship. Neither person should share personal information with other people you know online nor offline. Email addresses, mailing addresses, phone numbers or any photos should be given out to anyone period. This could break the trust built in the relationship with your online mate.

Tip Four: Sharing Fun Times With Each Other

Sharing special fun times online, such as greeting cards, favorite sites each other likes to visit on the internet, digital photos of favorite places visited, music and video clips, can increase the value of your online dating relationship. Those who are exchanging information offline via postal mail can send many of the same things as well as trinkets from various places you visit.

Treat your online dating relationship as you would any other relationship. You will find your online dating partner will do the same.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tips In Selecting Your Online Dating Photo

A few years ago, I joined multiple online dating sites . Site allows you to choose a main picture for your profile, and then several others that people see when they click on the main photo, or go deeper into your profile. I experimented with various photos and photo combination on the different sites, each time learning what was and was not working. Additionally, I was faced with hundreds of photos of potential dates, and I had to determine which photos were the most appealing to me and why.

Accurately presenting what you look like

First and foremost, the photo needs to be a true representation of what you actually look like. It should be a latest photo (taken within the last year) and it should look like you. Your hair should be the same color (or a similar color) and relatively the same length. Your weight should be accurate, as well.

One of my male friends went on a date with a woman he met online, only to find out that she was 20-25 pounds heavier than the photo represented. He wasn't as turned off by her weight as he was by the fact that she misrepresented herself. From the very beginning, her misleading photo indicated that she was someone who he couldn't necessarily trust.

Your goal isn't to select the absolute most attractive photo of you ever taken. Chances are, you don't look like that photo on a day-to-day basis and you are misrepresenting yourself. Your goal is to select a good photo of yourself that accurately represents you so that your date isn't surprised when he meets you. Although an extremely flattering photo of you might get you more dates, it might not get you the right dates.

The wrong photo could be a turn-off to someone who thinks "she's too hot for me". Research indicates that people are attracted to other people who are at the same level of physical attractiveness as them. In other words, if someone considers himself average looking, he probably won't think he could realistically date someone who looks like a supermodel.

What are you doing in the photo?

Once you've identified some recent photos of yourself that accurately represent what you look like on a daily basis, then select one that gives some insight into your interests. Portraits are nice, but they are very posed and don't reveal anything about the person's lifestyle. They aren't unique or attention-grabbing.

Find a photo where you are doing something that you enjoy. Playing the guitar? Holding a basketball? Traveling to an interesting location? These photos are memorable and attach you to your interests and hobbies. These photos can also be good conversation starters: "I see you have a photo of yourself in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. How was your trip to Italy?

Be sure, however, that these photos present a clear view of your face, and that whatever you are doing doesn't take away from letting the person get a good look at you.

Facial expression

When I was searching through photos, what attracted me most to certain pictures were facial expressions. I was most attracted to people who had a warm, friendly smile. People who weren't smiling or who were looking too serious were turn-offs. Fake smiles are also easy to identify, so try and find a photo of yourself where your smile is natural and relaxed.

What do you want to say about your personality with your photo? If you are an easy going person, then the facial expression should definitely be relaxed. If you are more of a "type A" go-getter, then your photo should exhibit more energy. Whatever photo you select, remember that your facial expression says a great deal about who you are.

I've noticed that women sometimes have sexy, seductive facial expressions in their photos. I don't necessarily object to this, but it's important to keep in mind the types of people that these photos would attract. Remember, when you go on a date, the person will probably expect you to exhibit that same sexy attitude that you displayed in your photo.

Professional photos

There are services out there that specialize in taking your photo for the sake of online dating. These services probably do more harm than good because your true match is someone who will be attracted to you as you naturally are. When I was doing online dating a few years ago, I had some professional modeling photos of myself. Since they were my "best" photos, those were the ones I used. Big mistake. I was inundated with messages from men who were only interested in my photos and nothing else about me. And I probably scared away some of the more nice, down-to-earth men. I decided I wanted to attract people based on my personality, so I swapped the modeling photos with more casual ones of me in my everyday life. I still received just as many messages, although they were more engaging and a bit less flirtateous.

Even if you are a model, you probably don't walk around looking like you do in those photos on a day-to-day basis. It won't hurt you to include one of these photos deeper into your profile page, but I wouldn't recommend using it as the primary photo.

How many

Most online dating sites allow you to upload a large number of photos. You choose your primary photo, and then supplement it with others. Displaying too many photos of yourself could send the wrong message: "I think I am really attractive so I have included the maximum number of photos possible". I think modesty is the best approach.

Additionally, don't include multiple photos of yourself taken from the same event. Diversify a bit. If your primary photo is one of you in Italy, then maybe another photo shows you hanging out with friends, and another one shows you playing the guitar. Try and tell some sort of story with your photos about you, your interests and your life. If the photos don't accurately represent who you are, the dates you go on will probably not be successful.

Personal turn-offs

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion when it comes to photos and physical attraction. As I woman, the biggest photo turn-off was a photo of a man without his shirt on. To me, this indicates that he is showing off his build, and he thinks that he needs to "market" himself based on his body. I would rather that a man value himself more for his personality, and display a photo that reveals aspects of his personality.

Other photos which irritate me include drunken photos, photos with ex-girlfriends in them, and Web-cam photos taken in front of a computer. If you don't think that any of your recent photos would work for your online dating profile, then be sure to bring a camera with you the next time you are out and have some photos taken of you in your "natural" setting. And remember to smile. . . your future partner is looking for you!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Online Dating Testimony

If you are curious and interested in trying online dating for the first time, browse all the different dating sites available and find one that matches your needs. There are a number of options to finding love, companionship, intimacy and romance in this new millennium. I am hopeful for myself and believe I am finally ready to give love and let myself be loved in returned. I have been on 3 dates thus far after many online email exchanges, real and current photo swaps for honesty sake and phone conversations. Each time I met them in very public places and told others, trusted friends and family, about the dates so I didn't feel I was going it alone. One of the dates was a movie date that was surprisingly bad. I say surprisingly because he was the one I had the most in common with and thought had the more attractive face. No connection what so ever, almost laughable.

But, I dusted myself off and tried again. The next date I had was a lunch date during the middle of the work week day. Which means there was not a lot of time to gleam any real personal information. It was light and friendly and he was very funny. He made a parting comment about how pretty he thought I was which made me blush. So, I moved on to date number three. A lawyer who was nice and had a very interesting career and seemed very responsible. He seems like a very good man, quiet and serious. I am still looking but I have made dinner plans with date number two and continue to email and phone date number three.

As advice to anyone contemplating on online dating sites for the first time, be well prepared to actually have something to say to people. Write down your interests, your travels and hobbies as reference material. Think of short stories within your life to tell. If it helps, take an honest assessment of your likes and dislikes and do not compromise. I hate seafood, therefore if someone suggested to take me out to a seafood restaurant I would kindly refuse then offer one of my favorite places to go. Now, of course there are a number of expensive places I would like to try but would not like to take advantage of this new dates wallet. I would be honest and tell them the truth that they were places on my list but not places I frequent. Men are just as insecure about their bank accounts as women are about their hips. Be realistic about your expectations but then again don't settle for Taco Bell unless Taco Bell is your favorite restaurant. Honesty here is the best policy to finding people that really match you.Think also about things you would like to do. I never knew there were so many scuba divers people out there! It's insane want people write. For my profile, most of the people responded because they said mine was the most honest sounding, direct and down to earth.

If someone would have told me a year ago I would be going out on multiple dates within the span of a month I would have laughed at the thought. Now, I just wonder what took me so long to see that I deserve these suitors. In the end, maybe you will even gain more friends.

Friday, October 15, 2010

How To Make An Access On Online Dating

By now, you have already acquainted yourself with the whole online dating process, specifically setting up your account and profile, as well as how to look at other online dating profiles.

Before you actually contact dating members, it is best to hone your communication skills. Working on communicating effectively is not just something done in a business setting, as if you cannot convey your thoughts and personal feelings is something necessary for establishing any kind of relationship.

So, to follow will be a breakdown of what types of communication Medias are offered in online dating sites:

Writing:

Most common form of all online dating communication. Writing on an online dating site is usually done via chat rooms, email, and private messaging.

As well, avoid using abbreviations, such as 'ttyl' 'gtg' 'bbiab', for this shows that you are quickly writing to that person, which ultimately gives them the impression that you have better things to attend to.

Show that you really care and interested in the conversation with full of sence, using sincere words. If writing are not you strength, relax!

Do not get the impression that you have to write a formal, college essay. Just maintain a balance between a formal writing, and use personality to create a fun, sincere conversation.

Audio and video:

Online dating websites have become synonymous with online video chatting. Since the advent and rise of the online technologies, it has become very easy to get yourself set-up with this particular method of communication.

Many people prefer audio and video, for you actually get to talk to the person, see who they truly are.

Even more, audio and video allows you to pick up personalities, which is very hard to notice with writing methods (this is most evident with sarcastic and humorous personalities).

However, the most appealing aspect to video and audio is that is allows you to pick up on body and facial impressions, a much more effective way of receiving feedback from the other person.

Dating and conversations go together hand-in-hand.

Conversations are by far the most challenging aspect for dating. This is how you and your date decide whether or not there is potential for a relationship.

Conversations come natural for some people, while for others it is the most frightening thing ever. No matter how comfortable you are with this, there are tips that anyone can learn easily:

Always allow your date to speak first. It not only shows your polite, but this will help you direct the conversation into whatever direction you want it to go.

Take control of the situation, INDERECTLY. This means, talk about whatever you are most comfortable with. However, do not make it obvious that you are the one pushing the conversation, as this will turn off any woman.

Use questions seldom. No one likes to be interrogated, so do not have conversations asking '21 questions'. Simply use questions when you feel it is right.

Physically show interest in the conversation. This is the most important, and most challenging. You want to lean towards your date, but not too much. Leaning away from the conversation will make you seem uninterested.

Plan some ideas of topics you think you both will enjoy talking about. Check your date's online profile for interests, and just take a few ideas for inspiration.

MEN - always be a good listener. How so? By ACTUALLY LISTENING! This means, anytime your date talks, actually consciously take in everything that they are saying. Women love knowing if you are paying attention, so if you can continue the conversation by using some keywords that they said, then you will definitely win some praise!

All in all the Whole conversations should be enjoyable at all times.

Granted we are not communication majors and professional public speakers, but just be yourself and show genuine interest when talking.

At the same time, don't push.

There is sometimes a fine line between asking questions to get to know someone and getting too personal or intrusive early on.

When asking someone questions initially be sure to check in to make sure your questions aren't making them uncomfortable.

Avoid being overly suggestive or pushy. There needs to be some give and take and mutual sharing of information.

This is what fosters good communication and allows you to get to know each other in a comfortable, relaxed manner.

All you have to remember is to plan the conversation out a bit beforehand, and you will be good to go!

If your initial rapport and chemistry is good, keep building on that before asking for a face-to-face date. Meeting online initially gives you the opportunity to really get to know someone.

Ask questions and be willing to share things about yourself such as your interests, life goals, and what you are looking for in potential dating partners or a mate.

Make sure the comfort level is there for both of you before you decide to meet. If one person is uncomfortable the date is most likely to be awkward and unsuccessful.

Take your time in getting to know someone before meeting face-to-face for your first date. Look for someone whose interests and goals are a good match for you and just enjoy the process of getting to know them.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dating Site For The Geeks And Nerds Person

The following is a brief analysis of online singles dating websites that are designed to bring nerds, dorks, geeks, or whatever you want to call "smart, quirky" people together for casual dating or long-term relationships (most of the sites leaning toward the former).

This online dating site is for those who consider themselves (or possibly are considered by others) to be geeky, nerdy, dorky, or however you choose to define this gro0up of people that in most social situation are considered to be outcasts. Basically, judging from the homepage alone, the term geek or nerd in this context is supposed to define the super intelligent, overly studious and maybe just the awkward, eccentric folks. The brunette girl on the homepage is adjusting her stereotypical thick nerdy glasses and the site describes itself as "boldly eschewing the shackles of conventional popularity, a place to embrace your nerdiness. This site definitely seems quality and worth the time it takes to fill out an enticing profile- that is, as long as you can keep up with the rest of the smarties. Your geekiness will be put to the test in the free chat room or forum (or even more so through the site Instant Messenger) when you are asked to discuss your favorite books and favorite websites. And you better work hard on that profile, for people can search by keywords and some of the most popular sear5ches today alone were certainly bizarre and unlikely when it comes to what most people look for in a date. Among the typical "busty" and bisexual" people also searched for "physics", "Lincoln", "Lovecraft", "Geology" Matrix" and "seti". Who puts "Matrix" in their profile except those hardcore fans of Keanu Reeves? Or for that matter, Lincoln? Nerd Passions is fascinating, well designed and plenty of geeky members. And better yet, everything you do there is free! (Or so they say).

Nerdlicious is classified and searchable as a dating site for geeks and you guessed it, nerds. But really it belongs tucked in somewhere among the new age or metaphysical site listings. It's $9 to join and the contingency is that you have to be out there truly seeking true love. The nine bucks entitled you to some form of application, which you download "instantly! To receive the best messages!" From the other statements by the company, it appears that the communication between members takes place through some sort of cosmic webring and implies that if you follow some general optional rules, plus your intuition, you will be sure to meet that true love you're so desperately looking for. Looks interesting in concept, but not recommended. The size of the community is unknown and you might end up with a couple stalkers. The site declares itself perfectly to be both "cosmic and ridiculous." Conclusion here is to save the nine bucks and take the next hottie you see out to the movies.

Geek Check, also titled Brenda's dating Advice Four Geeks" comes up as a dating site for geeks and technically it lends to that genre, but upon a closer look you will see that it is more of an example of someone's (Brenda's I suppose) personal dating blog in a non-blog format. There are many links to advice about dating and funny quips from Brenda herself, horror stories, etc but there doesn't appear to be any way to connect with others. Nevertheless, the site is fairly amusing and especially so because Brenda doesn't take herself too seriously. Worth checking out if you want a chuckle but don't expect to meet your long lost soul mate- or anyone. Oh and don 't tempt yourself to view the site of the month (from December_ featured on the upper4 left (now you wont be able to resist, but trust me, you'll get nightmares). This "Precious little tune about stalking' by the Sketch TV Orchestra is supposed to be a funny take on obsessed stalker type men but is really a music video describing in detail really screwed up desires of the singer that are de3signed to be funny and mock cliché but are just down right disturbing. No one says jokes like these out loud.

The Right Stuff, upon browsing the site to a mildly in-depth degree, looks just like what it is: An "exclusive" singles dating site. Exclusive meaning if you aren't an alumni or faculty member of one of the 59 elite colleges listed on the site, don't bother even considering signing up. A lovely illustrate lady and gentleman under a pretty pink parasol greet you on the Right Stuff's homepage. It is unclear whether any fees are required but you must send in authentic forms to prove your "elite" status before you are allowed access. As if this weren't restrictive and arrogant enough, there is a slight implication (though one can't be positive)_ that anything but heterosexual romance was encouraged. This is based on the promise that "all members of the opposite sex" will see your profile. Does this not suggest that only the "opposite sex" would be interested? Very likely so. Not recommended. Unless you're admittedly pompous and want to show off your prestige.